The straight stitch society manifesto

  1. Life is hard. Sewing is easy.
  2. When the going gets tough, the tough get sewing.
  3. Sewing is cheaper than therapy and easier on your waistline than chocolate.
  4. Don’t make it if it’s not supercute.
  5. Don’t let anyone talk trash about your sewing skills. Especially your mother.
  6. Sometimes a glass of wine really does improve your sewing. Or at least your attitude. Same difference.
  7. A strategically used curse word can make you feel better when you need to get out the seam ripper. But only the first time. After that you’re a potty mouth.
  8. No matter what happens, remember that it’s only fabric.
  9. If someone asks “Did you make that?” say “Yes” proudly and leave it at that, no matter how much you fudged along the way.
  10. Sewing Straight Stitch Society projects will make you thinner, younger, and richer. You’ll see.
This is to certify that

has earned membership by demonstrating that she can sew a straight stitch and by affirming the tenets of the society’s manifesto.